Hello 2018! #LittleLoves


Well, I have started the new year with a really bad virus that has meant I've spent the majority of my time in bed. Not the most positive start to the year, but I've tried to stay happy and keep up my new year's resolution: to make the most of every day. For so long I've felt like I'm just getting through each day, waiting for a certain event or milestone that will make me 'happy'. I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking 'I'll be happy when...' - I want to be happy now. Leaving school, leaving college, losing weight, buying a new camera, falling in love, having my own flat. These are all things I've thought would really change my life and make me truly happy. I have done all these things, and that magical golden ticket to happiness didn't come with any of them. Don't get me wrong, I am a lot happier at this point in my life than I have been for a long time. I am in a very good relationship, I have a wonderful family and friends, I don't want for much and I'm studying a Masters. I know that on paper, I should be the happiest girl in the world. There isn't a logical reason why I still battle with depression and have days where I don't want to get out of bed. But mental illness isn't logical. The best we can do is learn to cope with it, and in 2018 I want to tackle it every day. I want to look for the good in every day and be grateful for everything I've got. Life won't suddenly improve when I graduate and get a job, when I finally get a dog or when I'm another stone lighter. Life will improve when I make the decision to be happy in the here and now. So that's what I've decided to do. Here are my little loves for the first week of this year:

Read
Last Christmas, me and my best friend Alicia decided that, each year, we would give each other a book that we had really loved reading that year. So this year was the first year of our new tradition. Alicia gave me her well-loved copy of The Opposite of Loneliness, complete with a gorgeous little postcard telling me which part of the book she loved the most. I am about halfway through and I am really enjoying Marina Keegan's short stories. They're easy to read before bed and so honest and well-written.

Watched
Seeing as I've been in bed for most of this week, I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos. I found Simon and Martina's channel and I've been binge-watching all their old videos. I love Japanese culture and seeing all the delicious food they eat and the interesting places they visit has made me want to go to Japan even more than ever.

Heard
While I was lying in bed trying to sleep one night, I could hear the wind howling and the rain hammering against my window. It's one of my favourite things to be warm and safe inside while it's stormy, it's such a cosy feeling.

Made
Of course, the most important thing I made this week were my resolutions and my decisions for the coming year.

Wore
All I've worn this week is pyjamas or clothes that are comfortable enough to sleep in - which basically makes them pyjamas. I told Morgana that I always find this section the hardest of my little loves, because I never wear anything particularly interesting. I have so many 1950s-style skirts and dresses that I always shy away from wearing because I don't want people to think I'm too dressed up or that I look weird. On New Year's Eve, I wore a floral fifties-style dress with seamed stockings and bright lipstick and I felt more myself than I ever do in leggings and slouchy tops. So as well as being happy in the moment more this year, I also want to embrace wearing the clothes I actually want to wear.

and lastly...
There have been a lot of health issues in my family recently, with my Grandad becoming very frail and my Grandma also suffering with an infection, as well as my mum struggling with her MS and myself getting ill. This isn't a thing I love, but I do love how we have all pulled together to help and support each other however we could, even when none of us were feeling our best.

Little Loves Coffee Work Sleep Repeat

10 comments

  1. It's a wonderful thing to have a family which pull together- we moved back to Wales because we needed mine so much! I love your idea of appreciating something in every day- and it sounds like your friend's notes in the book will guide you to some wonderful moments. I nodded along about your wardrobe dilemma- it's so good to feel good in your clothes.

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    1. Thanks for your comment :) It really is a special thing to have a supportive family. And I'm already so much happier by just deciding to enjoy each moment! x

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  2. I love the positivity in this post. Having supportive family can make such a difference and that's a lovely tradition you've started with your friend

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    1. I want to use this blog to spread as much positivity as I can :) x

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  3. Now, that is an amazing diary!
    I love the book tradition with your friend. That’s a great idea.
    Sorry to read things haven’t been great health-wise for some of your family, but it’s so lovely that you’re all there for each other.

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    1. Isn't it great?! I got it from Kikki-K :)
      thank you for your kind words x

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  4. You are definitely doing the right thing by focusing on the positives and appreciating each moment and not just looking to the 'next thing' that will make you happy. I'm so pleased that LittleLoves is playing a little part in this for you too.
    I'm looking forward to seeing how your Wore section develops over the year. Here's to wearing what you love and what makes you happy!
    Thanks for joining in with Littleloves again this year. I hope this week has been a good one. xx

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    1. Little Loves really does help me to focus on the good things that happen through the week - and I managed to keep up my resolution to wear more interesting things! x

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  5. The book tradition sounds lovely! One of my resolutions is to read more this year. So far so good as I'm well and truly into The Book of Dust.

    Love Amber | www.ambambe.com

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    1. I really want to read The Book of Dust! I love all the His Dark Materials books x

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